Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff

Author:Michaeleen Doucleff
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster
Published: 2021-03-02T00:00:00+00:00

Raising Rosy

With Rosy, physicality is quite useful, not just for stopping tantrums, but also for preventing them. When I feel like I’m going to get angry at Rosy and I don’t want to raise my voice, I pick her up in a fun way. I flip her over or swing her in my arms like a baby. “Are you my sweet baby?” I say. Or I start tickling her stomach. My anger breaks almost immediately. And her tantrum melts like butter in a hot pan. She’ll go from crying to laughing, or screaming to giggling, in a flash. “More tickling, Mama! More tickling,” she exclaims.

Just this morning, while trying to make it out the door to school, we start spiraling into a bad state. We can’t find her shoes. We can’t find her bike helmet. We can’t find her special water bottle (“I really need it, Mom!”). Tensions rise. And Rosy can tell I’m getting annoyed. In response, she yells, “Now I’m getting angry!” I’m about to scream, but I know that screaming will only make things worse. So I close my eyes and imagine the mauve massage room. I sniff the lavender, hear the chimes. Then I think about Sally and what she would do with Caleb in a moment like this. I kneel down close to Rosy and say, as gently as possible, “I don’t want us to be angry.” And then I pretend to be the Cookie Monster, eating her arm: “Nom nom nom!” Poof! The tension breaks and she starts to giggle. We walk out the door, both laughing.

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